"Well, you go down there to do other things, and it just smells bad in general.... Hey, that could have been about basements!" ~ Me
"...and we can eat wine and drink cheese!" ~ Alison
"I have nightmares about having these long nipples that get caught in doors!" ~ Janelle
"I fucking hate 'bots" ~ Tamsyn
"I lick a lot of things, but I don't lick the brita." ~ Tyler
"Us women, we crave it like it was apples, and apples grow on trees, so it should grow on trees!!" ~ Janelle, on chocolate.
Me: "Well, I'm a nut and you love me so maybe that makes you a nut!"
Chris: "No, I'm the shell that has to contain you."
"If you can get roofies into a sippy cup you deserve to have sex." ~ Nancy
Kat:"I'm in one of those 'be an ass' moods."
Moira: "Then be an ass and bring me a cafe mocha."
"I want to have a Toga-Showdown!" ~ Me upon finding toy pistols at Wal-Mart on a toga shopping trip.
"I know why this salt tastes so funny... it's sugar!!" ~ Me. Just in case you didn't already know, sugar doesn't taste great on french fries.
"We went out for the bare necessities: vodka and toilet paper." ~ Tamsyn.
"It's the perfect night for liquor and Mario Kart!" ~ Me, on Tuesday.
"You ruined my pances of chicking up!" ~ Tyler after I spilled beer on him.
"I had seven beer before I started drinking." ~ Chris
"What's more fun than caffiene pills and liquor??" ~ Alison
"It's Christmas, for Christ's sake. SMILE, GODDAMMIT!!" ~ Chris
"Well, we can watch a movie, or TV, or go to sleep. Though I'll probably go to sleep if you pick watching a movie or TV." ~ Chris
Tamsyn: "What kind of orange juice did you use to mix that?"
Liquor Sample Lady: "Orange Juice."
Chris: "But then I'd have to buy a hat..."
Me: "Then buy a friggin.."
Chris: "...that would fit my head."
Me: "Right. Good point."
(And that's what I get for inturrupting - oops!)
Me: "What does Juan mean?"
Tamsyn: "John."
Me: "But what does it mean?"
Tamsyn: "It means Juan!!"
"It's like friggin' childbirth!" ~ Tamsyn on getting ice cubes out of the tray.
"Goodbye socks. Hello FREEDOM!" ~ Chris
Jenn: "My friends are so anal-retentive."
Alison: "My friends are so anal-sexual."
"Hey look, they're burying a grave." ~ Janelle
"I'd rather be drunk and talking to boys than sober and fucking one." ~ It all started as a discussion on one night stands...
Dad (upon hearing a not so average name): "No one should name a kid that! People should give their kids names people can identify."
Mom: "Like 'Moira'?!"
Good point, Mom. You've got him there.
So Janelle and I are driving down the road and get a little bored. Janelle suggests that we make different farm animal noises to pass the time. Great idea! All is well until Janelle starts making monkey noises. The following conversation ensued:
Me: "Monkey noises? There aren't monkeys on farms!"
Janelle: "Monkey farms! There exists monkey farms!"
Me: "Monkey farms? They do not exist!"
Janelle: "Yeah, like in the jungle. There must be different animals there."
Me: "The jungle is not a farm!"
Janelle: "Then what do the pigmies do?"
"I only have dollars in the two form." ~ Me
"It's hard to walk in sand. It hurts your baby cows." ~ Alison
Alison: "Is that a lake or a pond?"
Me: "I think it's a lake... or a pond."
"Fuck you, Mr. Noodle!" ~ Alison. I wish I knew the context.
"It's like I'm talking." ~ Tyler
"Are there water lakes in Vernon River?" ~ Janelle
"I was just thinking about what a terrible mother I am. Then I realized that I'm not a mother." ~ Alison
"Is there a real thing called beefcake?" ~ Janelle
Me: "I want gum."
Chris: "I want rock and ROOOOOOOOLL!!"
"It's only half a flucking bark!" ~ Tamsyn on why we should go to the China Garden rather than the Golden Wok.
"I heard it three times so it must be a word." ~ Me
"But no one is awake who lives here except us but we don't live here." ~ Alison
"Take off your pants and then we'll talk." ~ I'm not completely sure who this was, but I have a sneaky suspicion it was Alison
"That was long ago when I was foolish. Now I'm more foolish, but I'm wise." ~ Janelle
Me: "They just didn't want to say the word 'vibrator' so they were calling it a "never mind'."
Janelle: "I like that 'cuz it's one of those things that you just never mind!"
"I'm just throwing a fantrum." ~ Me. I know. The word is tantrum.
Alison: "I know where I want to work, but we don't have one on the Island."
Me: "Hooters?"
Me: "On Sunday night...."
Alison: "The one after Monday night?"
Me: "No. Before."
(See, that's what you get for interrupting me!!)
Mom: "He eats meat out of dumpsters?!?"
Me: "Mom, he dumpster dives, but not for meat!"
Mom: "Well, that's what she said."
Me: "No, it isn't."
Mom: "Do you?"
Me: "No, mom, I don't. And she didn't say he dumpster dives for meat. Besides, he's vegan."
Mom:"What's a vegan? Oh, like a veganbond? No, wait, a vegabond? What is it? Like a garbage collector?"
Me: "I hate when they name cartoon characters and the first letter of both names are the same. Like 'Sammy the Skunk' or something."
Kat: "Yeah, or 'Larry the Cucumber'."
"There's only three questions left and they're both stupid!" ~ Kat doing nothing other than her math homework.
"No, Moira! Bounce and flow! Bounce and flow!" ~ Kat to me. The strange thing is, this had something to do with the word toast
Goofy Trivial Pursuit Moments:
"The female doesn't want to mate and the male donates himslef. He's like 'ok. eat me.'." ~ Alison
"We haven't looked at this yet: the uterus." ~ Alison.
Trvial Pursuit Card: "Does Uranus have an aurora?"
Alison: "My anus has an aurora."
posted by Mo 12:12 PM
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"It was just a typo of the mouth!" ~ Alison
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